CHAPTER SEVEN

CONFLICT AND CONFLICTS RESOLUTION IN HUMAN RELATIONS

The concept of conflict, because of its ambiguity and pervasive nature, has acquired a multitude of meanings and connotations, presenting us with nothing short of semantic jungle. Like other terms, conflict generates considerable ambivalence and leaves many scholars’ and administrators quite uncertain about

1.     Its meaning and relevance; and

2.     How best to cope with it.

What is Conflict?

Conflict situations are inevitable in one’s personal life, in organizations or even between nations. Conflict is a process in which one party suggests that its interests are being opposed by another party. As a rule, people see only the observable aspect of conflict – angry words, actions of opposition, etc. But this is only a small part of the conflict process (Mashanne and Glinow, 2008).

Conflict is an inseparable part of people’s life. It is a perpetual gift of life, although varying views of conflicts may be held. Some may view conflict as a negative situation which must be avoided at any cost. Others see it as a phenomenon which necessitates management. Still, others may consider conflict as an exciting opportunity for personal growth and so try to use it to their best advantage. Wherever one may fall on this continuum of viewpoints concerning conflict, seldom would one expect to be in a continual state of conflict as the basis for engagement (Nebgen, 1978). 

However, in the last 25 years, many scholars have changed their views concerning conflict. Conflict is now seen as having the potential for positive growth. Deetz and Stevenson (1986), list three assumptions that indicate that conflict can be positive. Their belief is that management of conflict serves as a more useful conception of the process of conflict resolution. Their assumptions are as follows:

a. conflict is natural;

b. conflict is decent and necessary; and

c. most conflicts are based on real differences.

Historically, the following views on conflict are identified:

Traditional View (1930-1940)

The traditional school of thought says that conflict must be avoided as it reflects malefaction within the group. Conflict is viewed negatively and is associated with violence and destruction. Conflict is a result of poor communication and a lack of trust between people. Conflict can be eliminated or resolved only at high level of management. According to this view, all conflicts should be avoided. Thus, there is need to pay attention to causes of conflict and correct them in order to improve group and organization performance (Robins, 2005). Most conflicts have negative connotations, invoke negative feelings and often lead to destruction. Whether the effect of conflict is decent or bad depends on the strategies used to deal with it (Rahim, 1986).

The Human relations or Contemporary View (1940-1970)

Conflict is a natural occurrence in all groups. The human relations school accepts conflict. It believes that conflict may benefit a group’s performance (Robins, 2005). Dispute happens from time to time and it is not wise to put too much effort into avoiding or preventing the conflict. Concentrating only on large or critical conflicts allows people to resolve the conflict in a better and more effective way (Leung, 2010). According to this view, conflict is seen as a natural and inevitable outcome of people working together in groups and teams. Thus, it needs not necessarily be viewed negatively, but rather positively as a potential force in contributing to the performance of individuals (Robins, et al, 2003).

The Interactionist View

According to this view, conflict is not only a positive force, but is also necessary for an individual to perform effectively. Resolving conflicts means challenging normal processes and procedures in an effort to improve individual efficiency or introduce innovative systems (Robins, et al, 2003). Conflict is necessary to perform effectively, but not all conflicts are decent. This school of thought has identified several types of conflict:

§  Task conflict, relates to the content and goals of the work;

§  Relationship conflict, which focuses on interpersonal relationships; and

§  Process conflict, which relates to how the work gets done (Robbins, 2005).

The interactionists interpret conflict in a totally different way from traditionalists and people with a contemporary view. According to interactionists, conflict can be identified as either dysfunctional or functional. Conflict is a part of people’s lives and a natural phenomenon in all organizations. A low level of conflict will not be harmful for daily operations but will help to create smooth functioning by better comprehending of existing issues. Conflict at the desired level can inspire creativity when handling issues and resolving conflict. Thus, conflict can be positive in work environments, but whenever a critical or major conflict occurs, it should be resolved as the undesired level of conflict can be harmful and dysfunctional for the organization (Leung, 2010).

Conflict Resolution

Conflict resolution is conceptualized as the methods and processes involved in facilitating the peaceful ending of conflict and retribution. Committed group members attempt to resolve group conflicts by actively communicating information about their conflicting motives or ideologies to the rest of the group (e.g., intentions; reasons for holding certain beliefs), and by engaging in collective negotiation. Dimensions of resolution typically parallel the dimensions of conflict in the way the conflict is processed. Cognitive resolution is the way disputants comprehend and view the conflict, with beliefs and perspectives and comprehending and attitudes. Emotional resolution is in the way disputants feel about a conflict, the emotional energy. Behavioural resolution is how one thinks the disputants act, their behaviour. Ultimately, a wide range of methods and procedures for addressing conflict exist, including negotiation, mediation, mediation-arbitration, diplomacy, and creative peace building.

The term conflict resolution may also be used interchangeably with dispute resolution, where arbitration and litigation processes are critically involved. Furthermore, the concept of conflict resolution can be thought to encompass the use of nonviolent resistance measures by conflicted parties in an attempt to promote effective resolution.

Sources of Conflicts in Human relations

Conflict is a normal part of life and there are many issues that could cause conflicts to arise within community organizations. Conflict can occur between staff, committee members, ordinary members, volunteers, clients or the community If not resolved conflict can be highly destructive. However, committees can take steps to minimize potential situations of conflict before they arise or to resolve conflict constructively.

Thus, many people try to avoid conflict at all costs. Others tend to blame someone or something else for causing it. These responses do not resolve conflict and may make the situation worse. there are an enormous number of potential sources of conflict. some of the most common sources include the competition for scarce resources, violation of rule of organizational norms, disagreement over rules or the means to achieve those goals, personal slights and threats to jobs security, long held biases and prejudices and so on. The following sections discussed other common factors that lead to conflict situations within organizations.

Misunderstandings

Conflict can arise from misunderstanding about: The nature, aims and objectives of a job Differing expectations about how things should be done Work conditions and wages. The different responsibilities of management and staff Differences in values, beliefs, needs, or priorities.

Poor Communication 

Communication relies on clear and complete messages being sent as well as being received. Problems can be reduced by paying attention to how well you send messages and how well you receive them. Both managers and staff are responsible for ensuring that these issues are considered. There are many ways to improve information flow and communication. Here are some suggestions: Keep message books/day books, keep policy books which include all policies as decided at meetings. Hold regular staff/management meetings for passing on information. Have frequent staff meetings. Ensure correspondence is available for everyone to see. Distribute minutes of all meetings promptly and widely. Ensure there is clarity about what the objectives are and about what decisions have been made. Ensure decisions are implemented. Give everyone time to talk at meetings. Try to spend twice as much time listening as you spend talking. Unclear communication from staff to clients is another common source of conflict. It is vital that "house rules" are written down for clients, and that there are no variations in the interpretation of those rules. Distressed clients can very quickly become confused and angry if they feel that they are not being listened to - especially by those who say they care.

Lack of Planning

Lack of planning often means an organization moves from one crisis to the next. This sense of disorganization and lack of direction can be stressful and can create many problems including misunderstandings. The time spent in planning will be recouped many times over in the more efficient use of staff' time, and in real and long-term benefits to clients.

Poor Staff Selection

Inappropriate selection of staff can result in ill-feeling and conflict. Feelings of ill-will may be rise by dismissing staff members. While staff conflict problems can never be entirely avoided, they can be minimized with decent staff selection procedures. Considering existing staff views when approaching staff selection will help minimize conflicts in the workplace.

Frustration, Stress and Burnout

When people become frustrated or stressed, they are more irritable and more likely to create conflicts than at other times. It is important to recognize the signs of stress in people's work situations in order to prevent burnout. Try to help people identify the causes of work-related stress, and take steps to change these factors or, better still, try to anticipate possible causes of stress before they arise. These factors could include: Threats of violence or actual violence. Overcrowding or lack of privacy. Verbal abuse. Dirty or untidy work space. Noise. Harassment Continual Crises Lack of ability to influence the working environment Tension between staff members Lack of direction from management Criticism and lack of support.

Models of Conflicts

Dual concern model

The dual concern model of conflict resolution is a conceptual perspective that assumes individuals’ preferred method of dealing with conflict is based on two underlying themes or dimensions: concern for self (assertiveness) and concern for others (empathy).

According to the model, group members balance their concern for satisfying personal needs and interests with their concern for satisfying the needs and interests of others in different ways. The intersection of these two dimensions ultimately leads individuals towards exhibiting different styles of conflict resolution. The dual model identifies five conflict resolution styles/strategies that individuals may use depending on their dispositions towards pro-self or pro-social goals.

Avoidance conflict style

This style’s Characterized by joking, changing or avoiding the topic, or even denying that a problem exists, the conflict avoidance style is used when an individual has withdrawn in dealing with the other party, when one is uncomfortable with conflict, or due to cultural contexts. During conflict, these avoiders adopt a “wait and see” attitude, often allowing conflict to phase out on its own without any personal involvement. By neglecting to address all high-conflict situations, avoiders risk allowing problems to get out of control.

Yielding conflict style

In contrast, yielding, “accommodating”, smoothing or suppression conflict styles are characterized by a high level of concern for others and a low level of concern for oneself. This passive pro-social approach emerges when individuals derive personal satisfaction from meeting the needs of others and have a general concern for maintaining stable, positive social relationships. When faced with conflict, individuals with a yielding conflict style tend to harmonize into others’ demands out of respect for the social relationship.

Competitive conflict style

The competitive, “fighting” or forcing conflict style maximizes individual assertiveness (i.e., concern for self) and minimizes empathy (i.e., concern for others). Groups consisting of competitive members generally enjoy seeking domination over others, and typically see conflict as a “win or lose” predicament. Fighters tend to force others to accept their personal views by engaging competitive power tactics (arguments, insults, accusations, violence, etc.) that foster feelings of intimidation.

Reconciliation conflict style

The conciliation, “compromising”, bargaining or negotiation conflict style is typical of individuals who possess an intermediate level of concern for both personal and others’ outcomes. Compromisers value fairness and, in doing so, anticipate mutual give-and-take interactions. By accepting some demands put forth by others, compromisers believe this agreeableness will encourage others to meet them halfway, thus promoting conflict resolution. This conflict style can be considered an extension of both “yielding” and “cooperative” strategies.

Cooperation conflict style

Characterized by an active concern for both pro-social and pro-self-behaviour, the cooperation, integration, confrontation or problem-solving conflict style is typically used when an individual has elevated interests in their own outcomes as well as in the outcomes of others. During conflict, cooperators collaborate with others in an effort to find an amicable solution that satisfies all parties involved in the conflict. Individuals using this type of conflict style tend to be both highly assertive and highly empathetic. By seeing conflict as a creative opportunity, collaborators willingly invest time and resources into finding a “win-win” solution.  According to the literature on conflict resolution, a cooperative conflict resolution style is recommended above all others. This resolution may be achieved by lowering the aggressors guard whilst raising the ego.

Conflict Management

Conflict management refers to the long-term conflict management of intractable conflicts. It is the label for the variety of ways by which people handle grievances standing up for what they consider to be right and against what they consider to be wrong. Those ways include such diverse phenomena as gossip, ridicule, lynching, terrorism, warfare, feuding, genocide, law, mediation, and avoidance. The forms of conflict management that will be used in any given situation can be always predicted and explained by the social structure or social geometry of the case.

What is Conflict Management?

Conflict management is often considered to be distinct from conflict resolution. In order for actual conflict to occur, there should be an expression of exclusive patterns, and tell why the conflict was expressed the way it was. Conflict is not just about simple inaptness, but is often connected to a previous issue. The latter refers to resolving the dispute to the approval of one or both parties, whereas the former concerns an ongoing process that may never have a resolution. Neither is it considered the same as conflict transformation, which seeks to reframe the positions of the conflict parties.

The role of culture is not always fully appreciated and must be taken into account. In a piece on “the ocean model of civilization”, Prof Nayef Al-Rodhan argues that greater transcultural comprehending is critical for global security because it diminishes ‘hierarchies’ and alienation, and avoids dehumanization of ‘Others’.

Methods of Conflict Resolution:

Regardless of the level of conflict, there are differing approaches to deal with the incompatibilities that exist. Conflict can result in destructive outcomes or creative ones depending on the approach that is taken. If we can manage conflict creatively, we can often find new solutions that are mutually satisfactory to both parties. Sometimes this will involve a distribution of resources or power that is more equitable than before, or in creating a larger pool of resources or forms of influence than before. Creative outcomes are more probable when the parties are interdependent, i.e., each having some degree of independence and autonomy from which to influence the other, rather than one party being primarily dependent on the other. Given interdependence, three general strategies have been identified that the parties may take toward dealing with their conflict; win-lose, lose-lose, and win-win (Blake, Shepard & Mouton, 1964).

1. The win-lose approach is all too common. People learn the behaviours of destructive conflict early in life – competition, dominance, aggression and defense permeate many social relationships from the family to the school playground. The “fixed pie” assumption is made, often incorrectly, that what one party gains, the other loses. The strategy is thus to force the other side to capitulate. Sometimes, this is done through socially acceptable mechanisms such as majority vote, the authority of the leader, or the determination of a judge. Sometimes, it involves secret strategies, threat, innuendo – whatever works is acceptable, i.e., the ends justify the means. There is often a strong we-they distinction accompanied by the classic symptoms of intergroup conflict. The valued outcome is to have a victor who is superior, and a vanquished who withdraws in shame, but who prepares very carefully for the next round. In the long run, everyone loses.

2. The lose-lose strategy is exemplified by smoothing over conflict or by reaching the simplest of compromises. In neither case is the creative potential of productive conflict resolution realized or explored. Disagreement is seen as inevitable, thus why not split the difference or smooth over difficulties in as painless a way as possible? Sometimes, this is indeed the reality of the situation, and the costs are less than in the win-lose approach, at least for the loser. Each party gets some of what she wants, and resigns itself to partial satisfaction. Neither side is aware that by confronting the conflict fully and cooperatively they might have created a more satisfying solution. Or the parties may realistically use this approach to divide limited resources or to forestall a win-lose escalation and outcome.

3. The win-win approach is a conscious and systematic attempt to maximize the goals of both parties through collaborative problem solving. The conflict is seen as a problem to be solved rather than a war to be won. The important distinction is we (both parties) versus the problem, rather than we (one party) versus them (the other party). This method focuses on the needs and constraints of both parties rather than emphasizing strategies designed to conquer. Full problem definition and analysis and development of alternatives, taking consensus decisions on mutually agreeable solutions. The parties work toward common and super ordinate goals, i.e., goals that can only be attained by both parties pulling together. There is an emphasis on the quality of the long-term relationships between the parties, rather than short term accommodations. Communication is open and direct rather than secretive and calculating.

Threat and coercion are proscribed. The assumption is made that integrative agreements are possible given the full range of resources existing in the relationship. Attitudes and behaviours are directed toward an rise of trust and acceptance rather than an escalation of suspicion and hostility. The win-win approach requires a very high degree of patience and skill in human relations and problem solving.

Finding the Best Conflict Resolution Approach

Since each conflict situation is unique and dynamic, it is difficult to recommend the best conflict resolution approach for any group

Choice of approach depends on these factors:

§  Type and relative importance of conflict resolution

§  Time pressure for conflict resolution

§  Position of the players involved

§  Relative emphasis on goals versus relationships

Forcing, smoothing, and withdrawing techniques are generally not effective in resolving conflicts because they fail to deal with the real cause of the conflict. They may be appropriate when it is important to create a period of peace and harmony while the parties think about their next move or actions. Conflicts can be resolved appropriately in these three ways (i.e. the win-lose approach the lose strategy and the win-win approach) but the necessary skills cannot be over emphasized.

Conflict Issues in Human Divorce

Divorce in Human relations

Divorce is the termination of a marriage or marital union, the cancelling and reorganizing of the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage, thus dissolving the bonds of matrimony between a married couple under the rule of law of the particular country or state. In most countries monogamy is required by law, so divorce allows each former partner to marry. Divorce allows women to marry a new husband. Divorce should not be confused with annulment, which declares the marriage null or void with legal separation. Reasons for divorce may vary from sexual incompatibility or lack of independence for one or both spouses to a personality clash, disrespect neglect etc.

Effects of Divorce

v  Academic, behavioural and psychological problems, studies Suggest that children from divorced homes/families are more likely to exhibit poor behavioural characters than those from non-divorced homes.

v  Divorce is associated with demised psychological wellbeing in children and adult offspring of divorced parents, including greater unhappiness, less satisfaction with life, weaker sense of personal control, anxiety, depression and greater use of mental health services. A preponderance of evidence indicates that there is a casual effect between divorce and these outcomes.

Children of divorced homes are more likely to experience conflict in their own marriages and are more likely to experience divorce themselves. They are also more likely to be involved in short-term collability relationship which often dissolves before marriage.

Phases of Divorce

§  The emotional divorce centers around the problem of the deteriorating marriage. This phase usually takes place over a period of time, which varies from couple to couple. The positive feelings of love and affection are displaced by increasing feelings of anger, frustration, hurt, resentment, dislike, or hatred, and the perception that the positive feelings are gone forever.

§  The legal divorce is based on grounds for the divorce. Even if no “no-fault” divorce laws exist, one or both divorcing spouses usually states reasons why the other is at fault. The law usually recognizes incompatibility as adequate reason for divorce

§  The economic divorce deals with money and property. For many divorcing Couples, this is the most volatile phase of divorce. Emotions often run high when it comes to dividing material decents accumulated during the marriage. If the couple cannot negotiate a fair property and asset settlement the court will mandate what it considers a fair distribution to each of the divorcing persons.

§  The co-parental divorce deals with custody, single- parent homes, and visitation. This is also a very emotional part of the divorcing process. Traditionally, mothers were automatically given custody of their children unless they were proven to be unfit. Today most custody decisions are made on a case-by-case basis, and the child or children are placed with the parent deemed capable of providing the overall best environment for them.

§  The community divorce involves the changes of friends and community that every divorcing person experiences. Married couples tend to socialize with other married couples. After divorce these two individuals n

§  The psychic divorce manifests the problem of regaining individual autonomy. This simply means that each of the two divorcing persons has to adjust to living alone. Each loses the part of his or her identity that was established as being a part of a married couple. Daily decisions and activities are now carried out as an individual rather than as an individual who is part of a couple relationship. Some of these phases may take several years to complete and some people never finish certain phases. The children have to process through each stage right along with their parents.

Children at Risk

A child’s perception of divorce will be largely determined by age and gender, as well as the child’s history of stress and coping. When stressful events outweigh available protective factors, even the most resilient child can develop problems. A growing body of information suggests that certain factors may make some children more at risk for maladjustment than other children. Some arc unalterable and some existed before divorce. Others exert considerable pressure on children at the time of separation or divorce, and still others influence the children following divorce.

Prominent risk factors

Gender— Boys are more at risk than girls, primarily because mothers are awarded custody more often that fat hers. It is difficult because the same-gender parent, the father, is no longer living in the home. The absence of the male role-model makes it more difficult for boys to adjust to divorce.

Age—Younger children are at risk short-term due to confusion surrounding the divorce and the loss of the parent no longer living in the home. Younger children are less able to make sense of all the changes that are occurring. Preadolescent and adolescent children arc more at risk over the long-term, because in the short- term their close alignment with their peers represses their feelings regarding their parents’ divorce.

Socioeconomic status—Standard of living often changes dramatically following divorce. Less money can mean some of the children’s needs may not be met.

The degree to which the child was drawn into marital conflict. The more a child is part of the parental conflict, the more confusion, frustration, anger, and loyalty conflicts he or she is likely to experience.

̶Relationship with each parent before the divorce. If pre-divorce relationships with parents were positive and nurturing, the risk for post-divorce problems is reduced. If problems with parent-child relationships existed before the divorce, those problems will likely become worse following the divorce.

Parents’ inability to separate their roles as parent and spouse. Divorcing spouses who cannot peaceably make decisions about their children’s welfare and negotiate issues related to the children, put those children at rise risk for problems.

Continual open conflict between spouses. The greater the conflict between the parents the greater the risk for children to experience emotional turmoil.

The perceived loss of the non-custodial parent. Unless extra care is taken by both parents to nurture the relationship between the non-custodial parent and the child, a child may feel loss and even abandonment.

Short-Term Effect of Divorce on Children

Anger, Sadness, Depression, Opposition, Impulsivity, Aggression, Non-compliance, perceived parental loss, Interpersonal conflict, Economic hardship, Life stress, less parental supervision, Less consistent discipline, More negative sanctions, Lower academic achievement, Acting out, Lower self-concept, Social adjustment difficulty, Rise dependency.

Long Term Effect of Divorce on Children

At a 5-year follow-up, one study of divorced children (Wallerstein, 1995) showed:

1.     Persistence of anger at the parent who had initiated the divorce.

2.     Intensity of longing for the absent or erratically visiting parent.

3.     Persistence of youngster’s wished to reconstitute the pre-divorce family.

4.     Moderate to severe clinical depression in over one third of the original sample.

At the 10-year follow-up with those same children of divorce (Wallerstein, 195), the following information was gathered about the participants:

1.     A dominant feeling of sorrow about their parents’ divorce still existed.

2.     Quotes from the young adults themselves:

3.     Physically these participants reported poorer physical health than children from intact families. 

4.     Emotionally, they indicated persistent problems with the following:

o   Fears of betrayal, abandonment, loss, and rejection.

o   Rising anxiety in late teens and early 20s- feelings and memories about their parents’ divorce arise with new intensity as they enter adulthood.

o   Life-long vulnerability to the experience of loss.

o   Anger, resentment and hostility.

o   A reduction in psychological well-being

o   Depression in young adulthood.

o   Low life satisfaction.

Socially, the children’s relationships in later life were affected as follows

        i.        Divorcing parents apparently set the stage for children’s poor relationships.

      ii.        Reduction in the ability to develop and maintain supportive friendships and dating relationships.

     iii.         Children of divorce are more likely themselves to divorce as adults.

     iv.        Earlier sexual intercourse.

       v.        Delinquent behaviours.

Divorce Adjustment

        i.        Parental ability to resolve post-divorce conflict and anger.

      ii.        Ability of the custodial parent to successfully resume the parenting role.

     iii.         Ability of the non-custodial parent to maintain a mutually satisfying relationship with the child or children.

     iv.        Personality characteristics of the child and the ability to develop coping skills.

       v.        Ability of the child to find and use support systems

     vi.        Diminished depressive or angry responses by the child.

    vii.        The age and sex of the child.

What Can Parents Do?

First of all, parents need to know that not all of the negative effects mentioned in the studies will be experienced by all children of divorce. And those that arc present can he made less intense with education, nurturing decent communication, and lots of love.

At least two general avenues to helping children process the divorce experience are available: outside help and parental effort. An instance of outside help might be an intervention program for children. An ideal prevention program would accomplish several things including:

    i.      Helping children to resolve divorce-related anxieties, confusion, and blame.

   ii.      Helping children to express anger in divorce- related situations.

  iii.      Helping parents agree on visitation and custody.

  iv.      Helping parents to respond appropriately to children’s divorce-related concerns.

   v.      Helping ex-spouses develop decent post-divorce parental relationships and parent-child relations hips.

  vi.      Helping parents resolve issues of anger and disappointment.

 vii.      Establishing support systems of friends and relatives.

Specific things that parents can do to help themselves and their children include the following:

    i.        Let children know that they are loved and that parents as well as children need time do things they enjoy.

   ii.        Include the children once in a while in a social activity that everyone can enjoy.

  iii.        Comprehend that children need predictability.

  iv.        Be keenly aware that children need relationships with both parents if at all possible

   v.        Keep children out of the middle of parental conflicts.

  vi.        Provide children with positive adult role mode

 vii.        Let some things go or change regular routines to adjust to the demands.

viii.        Divide the chores and let the children be responsible for taking care of their own and rooms.

  ix.        Consider using a cleaning service for a half day to handle some of the chores.

   x.        Allow the children to contribute to family problem solving.

  xi.        Look for free or inexpensive activities and enter entertainment.

 xii.        Make a budget and stick to it.

xiii.        Find out about assistance programs - food stamps, Medicaid.

xiv.        Do not expose children to casual relationships with members of the opposite sex. if a serious relationship develops, introduce the person slowly into the children’s lives.

 xv.        Before starting a second family, remember obligations to the first family.

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